2009 was a year to remember. Many great memories. Here is a retrospective of some of the things I was doing or thinking about during 2009.
1. What the f*%k is with that Tommy album by The Who. What is the message there? I don’t understand what is going on with this. How can someone who is deaf and blind play pinball? Is there some deeper meaning? Why would you write an album about this? This is one of those things that you generally ignore, it’s like… he sure plays a mean pinball but then you stop and ask yourself WTF? Can someone help me with this.
2. I have real mixed feelings about Slayer in 2009. While they are still putting out the same kind of music as always, it seems … I don’t know… overproduced? I think they need to evolve or something. The early stuff seems better, maybe it’s a generational thing.
3. I like Tiger Woods about infinity to the googleplex more than I did in 2008. Dude is for real. It would have been much better if he’d just owned it instead of the hack PR suck-up bullshit. He should have done a media event, showed up in a fur coat with a driver pimp stick covered in diamonds with a ho train… he walked the walk but didn’t talk the talk. Should have pulled a Tyson and asked the reporters if they wanted to fornicate with him.
4. Still fightin round the world at the advanced age of 37…. 9-8 record. Could be better, could be worse.
5. Lost about 40 lbs, down to around 205 of fightin flab. First year in 12 that I weighed less at the end than the beginning.
6. Stole Lloyd Dettering’s shark vacuum; used it to summon Shub Niggurath.
7. I don’t like the term Road Rage, it has connotations of chaos or unfocused intent. I prefer Road Justice. Here is its use in a sentence: If you ever pull up behind me when I’m waiting to turn left, and you start honking your f%&king horn at me, I’m going to get out of my car, walk over to your car, grab you through your window by the throat and give you some Road Justice bitch!!! Say hello to Thunder and Lightning!!! Throat punch, motherf*^cker!!! Have a nice trip to the hospital. (BTW if you’re ever in Vancouver, don’t honk at anyone waiting to turn left. It’s a safety issue).
8. Working on anger management issues. Periodic distribution of Road Justice seems to help. Also cutting back on the red bull to 3 cases per day is soothing.
9. Joy Behar seems cool.
10. My love for Lexie Stewart just keeps growing stronger and stronger. Here is a quote from her: “I’d be like, ‘Get the fuck out … And then they’d say, ‘You can’t do that!’ I was like, ‘Yeah, I can.’ ” Don’t worry Lexie some day we’ll be together.
11. OK here’s one: who would win in a no holds barred battle to the death: Nancy Grace or Pat Lalama? I used to think Nancy Grace would just transform into an eagle or some shit and let the disembowelling begin but Pat TheLlama is somehow nearly as annoying and some say she has super Llama powers. It is possible… no, likely… that Nancy and Pat are actually both alien lizard creatures so this would probably be a fairly even match… I think that Nancy would probably win but the underllama could pull the upset here.
You be the judge.